Memorial Day

If you missed it — which, I’m sad to say, I did — apparently you missed THE event of the summer. More lavish than the $148 million Spiderman 3 took in in three days. More inebriated then the handful of NC representatives on a Tall Ships booze cruise. And populated by more celebrities than the Cannes Film Festival.

Don’t believe me? Proof, you scream. Tearing your hair out for justification!? Fine.

Lavish. Just look at these accommodations:

We’ve got plush seating — Think: Wizard of Oz, Cowardly Line getting hooked up at the Emerald City. Meeee–yowww.

And just look at the balcony seating. To. Die. For. Simply, to die for. It’s almost as if you’re a part of the woods. If you were any closer you’d BE in the woods. You can’t buy that at Wal-Mart. No sir.

And inebriated; oh, don’t get me started. Just look at this picture. Honestly, does that not scream drunk. Who’d buy a Buick, sober.

And of course the party was littered with clerisy of socialites. Such as Bubbles, the dog. She speaks a foreign language. No one could understand her.

And this man, who you’ll remember from his coronation from an earlier post. As you may not be able to tell, he’s engaging in the ritual tongue-bottle-tap — it’s more or less a way to give signatures to fans. His DNA will make you FAMOUS!

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